Dark Days, Bright Nights

Summer Movies Anyone?
It is only fitting that months after this blog died, I return with no explanation and jump right into movies. This is what I enjoy, deal with it. Summer always bring us the biggest blockbusters and flops, I'm sure I have seen both.

There's something about going to a movie theater that I really can't get enough of. I'm a creature of habit, so it's only right that going out to the movies is a ritual of mine. Maybe it's my being stir crazy...seriously, if I don't leave the house once a day I almost have a panic attack. I have been to the theater more times in the last six months than in my entire life.

A few of the flicks I have caught include: Wolverine, Public Enemies, The Hangover, Funny People, Bruno, and G.I. Joe. Again, this is just to name a few. I literally have a ticket stub collection that would embarrass most girlfriends(good thing I no longer have one).

I'll break down my 2 least favorites, at least what I can remember.

Wolverine


Alright, so we have all seen the X-men movies by now, correct? No? Screw it, it doesn't matter. Here we have Fox studios once again taking the helm with another X-men franchise. This time they have decided to focus on Wolverine and give him his own film....wait, wait a minute, what the hell were the other 3 movies about? Oh, you mean there wasn't enough Wolverine in those? Right, gotcha.

Anyway, the rugged and disgruntled mutant is back on the big screen. This time we are introduced to him through his past. Turns out he's always been a mutant, his claws are bone, and hes like 200 years old...it's all explained in the comic series "ORIGINS". Look it up and save yourself some time.




Wolvie gets recruited by the army for secret op missions. Did I mention Sabretooth is his brother? Well he is. They are both recruited, but Wolverine soon leaves due to the cold-blooded methods of the "team". By the way, the first 20 minutes of this film has the coolest Deadpool scene ever.



So a bunch of crap happens, Wolverine becomes Weapon X, ya know when they insert the adamantium into his body? The metal claws people! They go SNIKT! They also are rendered in some of the worst CG I have ever seen in a big budget movie. Seriously, in the X-men movies he had prosthethic claws that looked amazing, but here they substituted with silver graphics that would make Pixar weep.

It ends up in a hunt by Wolverine for Sabretooth and the military group responsible for unleashing him. Wolvie must first find out where this military is based at. Yes, it's a secret. So in order to find it, Sir Logan the 19th searches for the one known as Gambit. There's a lot of running around in this movie, one guy chases another and so on and so forth. Gambit was pretty boss, but I was disappointed in the actor not quite nailing his "Cajun" accent. It was the only thing missing.

Gambit agrees to help Wolverine find this "island" aka military base. They fly there, apparently Gambit is an effin pilot, and the final battle commences....I'll stop there because this is the part where Fox takes the Deadpool character and just completely runs a train on him like it was prom night. They just disregard him and....I can't even continue it pisses me off so bad. Just pretend the movie ends with Wolverine fighting Superman. It's better that way.

G.I. Joe
Let me begin by saying this, I am not now, nor have I ever been a G.I. Joe fan. I went to see this movie purely out of curiosity. Needless to say, if I was a cat, I would be dead by now.

Five minutes into this 2 hour toy commercial, and I was done. I mean the 'bad guys' or Cobra for you nerds, have flying saucers. Seriously their planes look like something out of Independence Day. I check out right then and there.

The highlight of this movie:

^ This woman needs to have my children. WOW!

The other highlights of the movie were of course the fight scenes between the ninjas Snake Eyes and Shadow Storm. Snake Eyes was just plain bad ass.


It's a bad day at the movies when a Brendan Fraser cameo makes you smile. G.I. Joe was just plain terrible, and admittedly I will go see the sequels. I just dont know why.

Yes, I know the Wolvie review is like 500 years late, but I needed to let my grief be known. Plus, it's my blog.

I will return this weekend with a full review of 'Inglorious Basterds' and pictures from my 21st celebration....Oh, yea I'm 21 now. The world is so screwed.